In the middle of the war

In the middle of the war, I ordered that under no circumstances should the trenches be abandoned. We would be victorious.
But when they ruthlessly took everything we had, Everyone surrendered.
I had given the order. I knew we would win.
But they surrendered.
And I— I was so cowardly That I did not surrender.
So filthy, so foolish That I became separate from all of them.
I joined them, And yet, I was apart from them.
The place for a hollow, cowardly man like me Is among them.